Full Circle

     It’s wild to think… the whole time I was asking God why I was dealing with this; the very thing that fixed me hadn’t been perfected yet. While I was sitting in my doctor’s office for “unexplained pain” at the age of 14-15 (without parental supervision) being told that my options for help were a pill for early menopause, a hysterectomy, or continual birth control (where you don’t take the placebo row) until I was ready to explore deeper, Dr. Ben was researching frequency enhancements and links to viruses. Gods timing is such a beautiful thing. We can never see the outcome and almost always have at least a sprinkle of doubt and experience unknown bread crumbs along the way. Just when we’re ready to throw in the towel the magic begins. Years of physical torture and internal damage, I decided there had to be something out there to help. When I finally decided to find out and “dive deeper” on what was wrong with me,

I was 26 years old.

 

     I remember one of my last, I call them “episodes”, like it was yesterday. I was humming. Instinctively, during my episodes, I hit a point of pain where I began humming and was unknowingly trying to calm the parasympathetic nervous system. A variation of frequency that I had absolutely no clue would end up ridding me of this disease breeding inside me, was the only thing that helped calm my body. Humming, one of the bread crumbs God dropped in my life that I didn't see until the time was right. This episode, was particularly excruciating. I had been screaming into my pillow, unable to cry because I couldn’t muster up any more energy as I was trying to control the convulsive shock my body was going through, dripping sweat like I hopped out of the bath without a towel to dry off, title waves of pain that wouldn’t let up as I crawled on my hands and knees to the bathroom so I could throw up before I fainted in front of the toilet. These words hold no weight to the amount of pain and desperation I was in. That episode was 13 hours long. I will never forget it.

 

     I would welcome the episodes where I would lose consciousness and faint. Because for a moment I could rest. Having a few outer body experiences, seeing myself lay lifeless on the floor, trying to conserve just enough energy to hold the heating pad against my sweat drenched body for some type of relief, a hurricane of pain was twisting inside me. The pain was paralyzing. Sometimes even waking up in a pool of sweat and vomit on repeat for hours on end. This was something I dealt with alone my entire life. No one needed to see that. What do you do? Nothing. As human beings, most of us, desire to help others but how do you help a lifeless body during a storm you yourself cannot see.

 

     What felt like deaths door all from an organ that’s supposed to create life was such a contradiction to me. Fast forward, 30 years old, I had been seeing a specialist for a few years and at first, I told her I wanted to try the most natural options that she could find to help manage all the things. Nothing helped, I was so tired of hearing “unexplained pain”, hysterectomy, and lists of medications, so I took it upon myself to opt into what health insurance labeled ‘exploratory surgery’. She tried to talk me out of it twice due to the scars it may leave behind on my abdomen. I looked this woman straight in the eye and said “Doc. If you don’t want to do the surgery, that’s fine. But you need to direct me to someone who will. This has been going on for far too long.” I sat there staring firmly and quietly, waiting for her to reply. I’ve never been scheduled for anything so quickly in my life.

 

     July 1ST, 2020, they wheeled me through the hallways into the OR. Hoping to finally get answers when I woke up. A few hours later, groggy and whimpering with tears running down my cheeks from the anesthesia; I remember overhearing two of the nurses complementing my freshly painted nails. Unable to open my eyes and with a dry raspy voice I asked what they found, while I tried to feel around with my arm for some human comfort & contact, but they ‘weren’t authorized to share’. My heart sank and I felt the chill of loneliness and defeat set right back in. When I fully woke, my doctor entered the room and with a cold demeanor she told me I had an official diagnosis. Severe Endometriosis. Everywhere. 20 lesions on the front of my uterus alone. About 12 on the back. Lesions on my bladder, my ovaries, my kidney, and about a nickel sized endometrial nodule with lesions on it, wrapped around the uterosacral ligament on my right side (which was what had been causing me to walk at a 90-degree angle if I were lucky enough to be able to stand). This is the worst case she’s ever seen, she said.

 

     Fast forward again, to my follow up appointment(s). I was hopeful for some new options maybe even a breakthrough in medicine since I was 14. The world is too vast and filled with intelligent people, I knew I'd find something. As she entered the virtual meeting, due to COVID-19, she was an hour late and eating her lunch. I knew at that point she had done her part in my journey. She had nothing new to suggest, OCP's etc. and highly recommended I look into a hysterectomy, “if my pain is that bad”. Which I found interesting considering her apprehension for the first surgery. There were no new approaches to help me and I was faced with the same old options I had been the 12+ years prior. During the aftermath of another episode, high on painkillers that did nothing but make me loopy and tired, I was sitting alone, in my living room in the dark, with burns on my abdomen from my heating pad, crying, and praying as hard as I could. I decided I was not giving up. I knew there was something out there that would help! In that moment, something told me to open my computer and start googling. I mustered up whatever energy I had to reach across the couch to grab it and it didn’t take long to find.

 

     Osmosis. I thought to myself, I’m having déjà vu… It felt kismet. I clicked the weblink and started reading with hope as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Immune Defense? I rolled them as I watched this man with confidence spilling out of his piercing blue eyes, speak with such enthusiasm and I thought, I’m literally about to purchase gypsy tears to drink for my endometriosis?! Still high on pain killers, I laughed and said out loud, well…. You’ve tried everything else.

“ADD TO CART”.  A few days later my order had arrived! I tried my best not to be too excited from my obvious prior defeat. 

 

     Sounded easy, shake well and drink every 12 hours until complete. I was nervous about it so it ended up sitting on my table for a few days. One day I walked by and looked at it a little differently… with hope. Goosebumps flooded my body and I knew in my bones that the time was right. Then, I remembered that passionate starry-eyed man say, if you have any questions you can reach out to him directly. After years of missed vacations, parties, family gatherings, school events, job opportunities, and life itself I walked over to my computer and told myself, this was it. He said to write him so just do it. That sprinkle of doubt hanging right out in front of me. What was I getting myself into and why would someone make themselves that available to strangers?! Yet there I was, writing an email:

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Hi Dr. Ben!

I’m going to cut right to it! When is the best time to take the immune defense? I’m a worst case scenario in the endometriosis category. In July I had an “exploratory” surgery to confirm a 16 year long battle with this. My OB said I had endometrial tissue EVERYWHERE, from my uterus front & back, my bladder, my kidney, and some wrapped around a ligament in my lower right backside. I have everything from SEVERE pain, drenched in sweat to the point I look like I took a shower and didn’t have a towel, fainting, vomiting, sometimes waking up on my bathroom floor in my own vomit (as embarrassing as that is to say) after I’ve literally crawled on my hands and knees to get there. The pain is so bad I can’t walk. I get migraines that make me throw up, up to 2 days after what I call my “episode”. 

I’m tired of trying medication and experiencing a very wide range of side effects and it not helping. I’ve had a prescription for traMADol for the last 6 years and that doesn’t even touch the pain, just makes me tired. You are my last resort before I consider a hysterectomy. I’m praying this works and do understand everything takes time! I’m staring at my bottle of immune defense wondering when the best time to take it is. I’m currently on track to have an “episode” in the next 1-3 days.

Best,
Jen

 

     As I waited for his response, anxiously praying that this was my answer for relief and that this person actually said what he claimed. I allowed myself a total of 72 hours before I felt the numbness of my reality flow back in. About 21.5 hours later I was in shock. He responded!

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 Hi Jen,

1 dose, 2 bottles should do it. Take it any time and expect some bad cramping the day after as the bug dies. You may be there now. Email me if this occurred. Each month gets better after that, nothing else to treat.

Thanks,

 

Ben Johnson, MD

 

     Having read this message twice before I closed my laptop, I swiftly walked over to the table, and twisted the cap off the first bottle. I felt an empowering yet strange sense of calmness surrounding me. I remember closing my eyes and telling myself to remember this very moment. I took a deep breath and said “Jesus, please have this help me.”, and He too responded, in a still calm voice "It will.", then down the hatch it went. I waited until my next episode to see the magic happen. But nothing… I did however notice I didn’t have a migraine that month but had been dropped off on deaths door yet again. With disappointment swarming around me, I heard a voice that said, "stick with it". As I used to tell my girls during my retail days, “trust the process”, that’s exactly what I found myself doing. So, there I was again writing an email:

 

Month one, no change. I started my cycle today (which was about 10 days late) and it was the same as my description below. I don’t not have any cramping after I completed the dose.

 

Best,

Jen

 

     Dr. Ben and I had exchanged quite a few emails which resulted in him telling me at one point he can’t help everyone and that I seemed to be one of those cases; but, he’d send me 2 doses and I could try again. 

 

Let’s try it again. This time 2 doses. The tell will be cramping after the second dose as I mentioned. I’ll send you the bottles if you pay for shipping. I have cc’d Nancy to arrange this. Fingers crossed!!

Contact me 2 days after the last dose if you can.

 

Ben Johnson, MD

 

     Cramping and nausea were not foreign feelings to me. I remember I was driving and had a moment pass, filled with PTSD, followed by a surprising celebration of cramping and mild back pain. I remember smiling and thinking, when I get home I need to email him! I thanked Jesus for the pain this time instead of being mad about it. Having to remain in a state of deep self-awareness for about 48 hours, this time I was sure it worked! The dedication and passion alone were enough for me to remain hopeful. Not to mention the confidence he had in what he was offering. And there it was. A month later, another episode. Only this time it was different. I had no migraine and did not faint. Little by little, month by month, I noticed my episodes were lessening on all levels. I had a few good months and a few bad months to where I decided to take yet another round of Immune Defense. The life I felt deteriorating around me, began to be built back together one month at a time. 

 

     After removing the continual birth control bandage that was crusted to me for 12 years, the hormonal imbalances at one point that had me thinking I was going to prison, the fainting spells and title waves of pain were being washed away. I was healed. Fixed. Cured. Call it what you want, a divine intervention was taking place and here we are, writing this story hoping to help someone else. Everything has a purpose in our lives. We don’t always see it, but looking back 3 years later I realized the purpose for my surgery wasn’t to feel another day of defeat. It was to discover the path I am now on. It was for that doctor to remove the nickel sized endometrial nodule wrapped around that ligament in my back; because perhaps that’s what Immune Defense couldn’t have cleansed me of. The bread crumbs are all around us, sometimes we just have to be patient to see them. No matter the storm.

 

     December 8th, 2020 was a time I will never forget and will remain grateful for. A lifetime plagued with pain and sorrow, gone. The gypsy tears had worked! I gainfully recovered from the thing that breathes life yet was killing me altogether. Fast forward, still 30 years old and healing, I was so intrigued by the brand, having opened my business in July of 2019, I was still new and searching for one I believed in to carry in store. What better line to carry than the one that saved your life. In 2021 (I believe), with an opening order of strictly wellness products, I told my rep I wasn’t yet interested in the skincare. I was still trying to figure out what my business looked like and how I wanted to shape it. I knew I wanted to help others but wasn’t sure how. She sent me some anyways. As resistant as I was, I tried it and of course I fell in love and now you can find the entire line on my shelves and website. My business and myself are thriving with the Osmosis Movement.

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     Dr. Ben strikes me as the type of person to be such a time manager, he doesn’t sit, dwell, and think about things long. They happen, he walks right into acceptance, and then moves on. I always felt like my story was insignificant to his many successes. I never ended up sending him a follow up to my healing. 

 

     Fast forward almost 33 years old. I attended the 2023 Osmosis Symposium in Florida. I was blessed with the opportunity to meet face to face the man that changed my life. I had an incredible urge to finally share my success story with him but when we met, my mind went blank. All of the things I had churning through it for 3 years were gone! But, I felt at peace in his presence somehow. The same calmness I felt the day I took my first round of Immune Defense. So here I am, one last time, writing to him:

 

I now find myself humming when I feel joyful. Thank you. From the deepest part of me, Dr. Ben. Your brilliant mind, desire, and passion to help others is more than honorable.

 

Best,

Jen

 

     Think about this with me… If I hadn’t decided to find out what was wrong with my body, I never would have been interested in the beauty & health industry, I never would have had that exploratory surgery, and I never would have found myself & Osmosis. I will never be able to find all the words, or my voice as Dr. Ben called it, and a thank you doesn’t do it justice, but perhaps a life fully lived will. 

 

"She began a journey of rediscovery and like a spring bud, she blossomed in the sun."

J.Davis

 

     I wrote that in the midst of the tornado I was in and knew it was going to mean something more later on, I just wasn’t sure what. It’s been on the ABOUT page of my website with question for nearly 3 years. I now understand what it meant when those words poured out of me. The sun is the new life God and Osmosis rebuilt me through the treacherous seas I waded through, I have rediscovered myself and am in bloom. 

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     I continue to choose Osmosis because they have an unparalleled approach to overall well being. The community within the circle of Osmosis reflects that of its mindful ingredients, which is pure. One might say our frequencies are harmonized. The philosophy of holistic healing and creating lasting results without compromise, is living fully. You learn to love yourself all over again. At DewYou we are where self love meets beauty and that's what I would call a full circle.

Pure, loving, mindful, unmatched.

DewYou Babe.